Taz has been practising his defensive moves in case he gets a call from Fabio

Monday 14^th June Orust Island

I know why the old lady swallowed a fly. She was cycling uphill gasping for air. (memo to self: try to find a non-sticky lip balm for cycling)

This is a lovely part of Sweden. We’ve done lots of cycling round the island and the stunning views go along way towards compensating for the hills. I thought David was being very gallant when he said “after you” whenever there was a car behind us, but then I realised it meant that I was always the one having to pull ahead on a hill. After that we had a very sticky couple of minutes exchanging several “after you”s and “no, after you”s on a long hill with a lorry trying to overtake. We discovered there is a new gear on our bikes after first: walking.

Its very odd visiting all these lovely spots when everything is closed. Apparently it all goes mad after midsummer (26^th) but at the moment it feels like we’re having a bit of a sneak pre-view.

Think we’ve only spoken to one other British couple since we crossed into Denmark. The Swedish couple we sat next to when we watched the football didn’t even recognise the English flag. Guess they only see the Union Jack. Don’t know why Sweden isnt more popular with Brits. Stunning scenery, lots to do and not as expensive as France. It is a little bit Stepford Wives tho and the birds are very cheeky.

Taz saw the IKEA bag but meatballs weren't on the menu for tea

Friday 11th June Tjorns island

Too bad a day for photos. Finishing as we started with David trawling for TV channels to watch football on. Mild panic when we realised its nearly 10pm and no CBS Action channel for NCIS but then we realised we dont ever follow whats going on - we just watch the pictures and take it in turns to say "what did he say?" or "what happened then?" so it doesnt matter if we miss the start.

But thats the least of our worries.

Coming in at number 1 is: after various niggles to start the day David mistook the hose that you use to clean the chemical loo tank with the one for drinking water --eeeeuuuuuw. It took us most of the day and several shops to find something to sterilise the fresh water with. Tomorrow will reveal how successful we were!!!!!!!!

After various set backs made it to lovely island off west coast of Sweden but cant see much through the rain. Might head up to Oslo tomorrow as it looks sunny and we are in danger of rotting soon if we dont dry out.

Taz spots first IKEA in Sweden and wonders if the meatballs taste the same

Thursday 10th June Goteborg

Struggled to find a sentence (or an outfit) that could connect "glamour"' "rain" and "toilet block"!

Sadly left our little campsite by the sea between Hoganas and Krapperup and we're on our 2nd night in Goteborg. Lovely city - lots to do and see and easy to get around. And for about £3.50 you get a pass thats valid for most of the museums for a year. Bargain.

On to the islands up the coast tomorrow. We've given up trying to track the weather and we're going to have to take the Swedish approach of ignoring it. They're barking! On my evening walk with Taz for his constitutional we've passed a playground full of kids (apart from a few trying to herd ducks), a couple sitting out watching the rain under their open-sided awning, and a group of cyclists having a picnic under the trees. Don't they know that rain is wet? We obviously need to toughen up before taking on Norway. oops there goes a guy wandering past in his tshirt.

Taz wishes Mum hadnt forgotten the iron - too many wrinkles in the morning

Tuesday 8th June - In a good place

We went to our wedding in a bus so I guess it was OK to cycle to our anniversary meal 25 years later!

David asked the waiter to recommend a good Swedish schnapps to finish the meal. After we'd drunk it he told us it translated into English as "wormwood" - sounds about right. We had a lovely view of Hoganas harbour and we agreed that we weren't into boats. After all, david told me, he'd sailed around the world, "well the Isle of Wight anyway". Glad I had a big serviette to cry into.

Taz scents wedding bells

Monday 7th June, Hoganas

Jodie and Ian getting married in Ibiza today - would put in wedding bells if I knew how!

Tomorrow its our Silver Wedding Anniversary - think I've got David an appropriate card but no idea what it says really.

And on June 19th its the wedding of the Swedish Crown Princess at Sofiero Palace near Helsingborg. We stopped off there on our way to Hoganas to break the journey - roughly 30 -40 km from last stop! Very nice gardens - bet she's got lots of photo opportunities mapped out.

Last stop was place called Raa - outbursts of Lady Gaga and Boney M after each mention of the name. Not too sure where we are now apart from north of Hoganas but its very nice. Seems to be part of a conference centre and church right next to the sea. Only 17 spaces for camping and there's only 3 lots of us here. Best of all we get to use conference "facilities" - staying on an extra day just for the showers! Well not quite, there are some outlet shops 2 min bike ride so could find that important silver wedding anniversary present.

Taz adds to the shopping list

Thursday 3rd June, Malmo

Another country, another language. Took a few dodgy days in Denmark to work out that the “enstrette” signs pointed to a one way street and not, as David interpreted, the High Street. The Danes asked Carol for more consonants, but the Swedes have gone for “new vowels, please Carol”. Still we worked out enough to successfully buy 300 more poo bags for Taz. Less successful was this morning’s cup of tea. I thought David’s looked a bit curdled, we’d bought yoghurt instead of milk. Never mind, there was enough old milk for my cup (priorities, priorities).

Had a look around Malmo today. Nice city. Looks like school kids celebrate end of year the same way all over (first photo).

Was a bit worried about getting David back in one piece. He was a little too intent on checking out whether or not absolutely all the adshells displayed women in very little clothing.

Taz gets out his passport and David gets breathalysed

Wednesday 2nd June

Crossed the Oresund bridge from Copenhagen to Malmo in Sweden today (you can just about see it in the background!). Before they let us into Sweden Taz had to get his passport checked and they breathalysed David - because he was driving, not for fun. Good job we couldn't afford to get too drunk celebrating my birthday.

Lovely sunny day today. Yesterday was very wet and windy so we abandoned our trip to Tivoli Gardens and spent a few hours cycling round in the rain, lost as usual, blaming each other, as usual, and managed to visit one museum. But went back in and had lovely meal in the evening and then got lost walking in the rain for a change - looking for a bar brother Steve recommended - top of a hotel looking over Tivoli Gardens apparently. Tried 2 then settled on the third and despite the fact we were both melting in the heat of a huge fire in the bar we spent as long as we could over a gin and tonic and glass of red wine. Why? Because they cost us £20 - thats why.

Despite the weather we enjoyed Copenhagen and will try and go back later in the trip. Loved the trains with the special carriages with bike racks in them and there are channels at edge of stairs so you can get your bigs down to tracks (hard work tho).