Goodbye Tazzie

Our poor old puppy dog, Taz, died 8th Feb 2011. a couple of weeks shy of his 15th birthday.

He was a sporty dog in his prime; great at football, could jump into the sky to catch sticks and loved to splash around in pools making splashes and catching them.The campervan will seem very empty without him but he's now with his best mate and protector, Alf.

RIP dear Taz

East, west Taz thinks home is best (and thats the campervan)

Wednesday 6th October - Eversley Cross

He might be in his 90s in human years but the french vet told us that "Mr Taz" has a strong heart and, incidentally, clean ears - shame they dont work anymore.

So, nearly 5 months on here we are back in the UK. Unfortunately because we've been in the van longer than we've lived in this house so its been a struggle persuading Taz to join us in the house but he's currently in bed catching up with his zzzzzs and with luck he'll stop asking to go back in the van.

We've loved our trip had some great bike rides and challenging walks, lost weight (Scandinavia), put on weight (France), accumulated some interesting plastic goods and somehow managed to keep our marriage in tact. Will we do it again - definitely. Will Mr Taz be with us? Who knows?

But now its time to catch up with family and friends and then we can start to plan the next trip.

Taz gets an early morning wake up call - ding dong

Sunday 3rd October (how did it get to be October) - Les Andeleys

Can you pen and ink it?! Why would someone herd his goats and sheep through a campsite before 8am on a Sunday morning - why, its the same numpty that ties huge and extremely loud bells round their necks.

Crunch time tomorrow. We're going to take Taz to a vet to get his tick and worm treatments so he can travel back with us Weds. Will the vet pass him as healthy?

So my turn for what I've learnt from my 5 months in the campervan...

It is a truth universally acknowledged that....

White ducks need their french bread crumbled into tiny pieces

You can never have enough plugs – I have a selection of 3 sizes and strut proudly into most washing up rooms, however 10% of the time I don’t have one to fit the plughole.

To make your fortune you only need to set up a lawnmower sales business in Sweden (they are obsessed with cutting their grass)

It rains A LOT in Norway

Fairy liquid and Body Shop shower gel last forever (all enquiries about product endorsements through D White please)

French bread gives dogs wind – very noxious wind

Memory foam matress, hot flushes and summer temperatures = the work of the devil

Six weeks in France very bad for the waistline - I've piled on the pounds on again

NCIS was much better in series 1

The French call hole in the floor toilets "Turkish toilets" - well no one would own up to them voluntarily would they?

Hairdressers the world over have a problem with how long 2cms are

BMW, Volvo, Citreon.. the car reflects the country

OK so we've got through a lot of diesel but living in a campervan is very green when you have limited amounts of water, gas and leccy. It will be bliss to be able to boil the kettle at the same time as drying my hair or heating the water.

..... I'm sure I've learnt a lot more but one of the top ones is - don't go on too long!

Taz takes on the playground bully

Thursday 30^th September – St Alban sur Limagnole

On our way back home after being thoroughly spoilt by the Baileys. We were in a mild panic when we checked Sat Nav and discovered we had 1200km to do in 8 days and David doesn’t like to drive for more than an hour a day. But he’s pushed himself and done a couple of hours Tues and Weds so he had today off.

Tuesday we passed the journey playing a game the Baileys taught us on the road into Spain: spot the prostitute. What we couldn’t work out was whether we hadn’t noticed them on the Narbonne road when we drove down or if they’d just moved in for pay day. We gave ourselves double points for spotting one getting out of a car and pulling up her knickers!

Wednesday we splashed out on the toll road across the Millau Viaduct designed by Norman Foster and had a break to try out the photography techniques picked up from David Bailey (yes, really, that’s his name and he is a published photographer), and from the Channel 5 photography show. To be honest I think the best photo was the one of us in front of the viaduct taken by a passing French geezer.

Last night Taz decided on a midnight feast which was followed by an urgent call of nature (well him barking). When David got up to let him out Taz decided to have a go at the scary creature in the playground we are parked next to. I feel so safe to have him with us :-((

Taz walks on water

Monday 27th September - Intichancha, Oms

Arrived at the Baileys with 2 bags of washing and healthy livers. Will leave tomorrow with clean washing and very dirty livers. :-))

We've eaten, drunk, crossed borders without passports, swum, watched Taz walk back and forwards across the pool cover, rescued bats, dried out moths (need to dry out ourselves next week), in Lindsey's case bought a tube of crack cure, picked fresh figs, enjoyed a proper bed and bathroom, finished a jigsaw, read lots of magazines, kept up with x-factor, listened to a choral exhibitionist (David B) and generally lived well!! David tells me thats living a normal life - well bring it on.

Taz tries out some poses for upsidedowndog.com

Tuesday 21st September - Quillan

Tricky fellow, Johnny Foreigner. We decided on a green "facile" cycle route of 21kms today. Admittedly it said something about the hills at the start taking us by surprise if we attacked them "a froid" but it didnt mention that those hills would almost finish us off before we had completed 3kms. AND THEN, when we got back I looked at the routes for mountain bikes and the same part of the route was coloured red ie bloody hard!!!!!

It wouldnt have been quite so bad except that on the way back to the campsite I spotted a hairdressers and being in desperate need of a cut and something to hide the grey, I went in and they said they could "do" me straight away. Well, after they encased me in a nice nylon robe, I went through 2 packets of tissues trying to surreptiously wipe the sweat off my face before they started. And I was a little worried about finding a colour for my hair that would go with my puce face.

The excitement is rising. In a few days we will be staying with our friends, the Baileys, in a real house! (And according to Simon its a stunning house with amazing views of the Pyrenees - but it only needs level floors and to have more than one room to be special for us) Having eaten and drunk extremely well at their UK home we have decided we need to prepare our wastlines and livers. There has been much discussion about whether we should cut out alcohol or step it up to avoid any shocks. But the bottom line has expanded since hitting France (and especially the Nougat Region) so its strictly 1 gin and tonic a night, no wine, no crisps and no stopping at the Patisserie. But David found a loophole. If the supermarket we shop at stocks Cadbury's chocolate we can carry on with our 1 square of chocolate a night (a 4" square is absolutely the limit). I will decline to declare whether this loophole came before or after the last shopping trip.

Taz gets tired of old ruins

Friday 17^th September – Carcassonne

Phew, made it to the safe haven of a campsite after a night with no electricity or water, its amazing how quickly you can move on in the mornings when there’s no way of having a wash or shower.

On our way to Carcassonne we stopped first at Pezenas, an old town with a medieval centre well worth a visit, then carried on to Lagrass, a village that styles itself one of the most beautiful villages in France (with the most self-satisfied and self-deluded villagers). It is very old and everything was very shut and the van seemed to catch the general malaise and the electrical bits ran themselves down to the point that we couldn’t even run the taps. But we’ve splashed out on a campsite right on the edge of Carcassonne and we’re going to stay here and until we’re bored of having lights, telly (yes that’s back on), running water and hot showers. They might have lived in lovely villages but those medievallers sure missed out on the good things in live: NCIS, plastic goods, internet........

PS anyone - why dont the French stock cheddar cheese when they sell plastic cheeses like Edam?