Taz gets an early morning wake up call - ding dong

Sunday 3rd October (how did it get to be October) - Les Andeleys

Can you pen and ink it?! Why would someone herd his goats and sheep through a campsite before 8am on a Sunday morning - why, its the same numpty that ties huge and extremely loud bells round their necks.

Crunch time tomorrow. We're going to take Taz to a vet to get his tick and worm treatments so he can travel back with us Weds. Will the vet pass him as healthy?

So my turn for what I've learnt from my 5 months in the campervan...

It is a truth universally acknowledged that....

White ducks need their french bread crumbled into tiny pieces

You can never have enough plugs – I have a selection of 3 sizes and strut proudly into most washing up rooms, however 10% of the time I don’t have one to fit the plughole.

To make your fortune you only need to set up a lawnmower sales business in Sweden (they are obsessed with cutting their grass)

It rains A LOT in Norway

Fairy liquid and Body Shop shower gel last forever (all enquiries about product endorsements through D White please)

French bread gives dogs wind – very noxious wind

Memory foam matress, hot flushes and summer temperatures = the work of the devil

Six weeks in France very bad for the waistline - I've piled on the pounds on again

NCIS was much better in series 1

The French call hole in the floor toilets "Turkish toilets" - well no one would own up to them voluntarily would they?

Hairdressers the world over have a problem with how long 2cms are

BMW, Volvo, Citreon.. the car reflects the country

OK so we've got through a lot of diesel but living in a campervan is very green when you have limited amounts of water, gas and leccy. It will be bliss to be able to boil the kettle at the same time as drying my hair or heating the water.

..... I'm sure I've learnt a lot more but one of the top ones is - don't go on too long!